As a Mormon I was taught to avoid The Real World. It was an evil, cold, miserable place. The Church, by contrast, was loving and gentle and good - a haven of camaraderie and friendship, the only destination where men and women could find true happiness.
Only, I wasn't happy. A lot of the things I heard in church weren't loving, gentle, or good. As for friendship, all those church assignments left little time for socializing. My only friends were a couple of women who were assigned to come around and "teach" me every month. Half the time they were women I had little in common with. On the occasions I was given somebody that might grow into a friend, she was shifted to a new assignment before anything developed. With the LDS Church arranging my social life, I felt as though I was constantly following a script. Like an actress in a cheesy sitcom or creepy promotional film.
For me, there was no happiness in that Fake World.
Thank heavens I'm now a member of the Real World!
I like to say that the best thing about being a Mormon is becoming an ExMormon. It's a great community of accepting free thinkers - a place where I've found lots of real friends, not fake ones. And we've plenty of time to socialize! Take the past few weeks, for example.
First Eric and Ali flew down from Oregon. We met them, along with Steve and Sarah, at the Barrel to Bottle event in Half Moon Bay.
BYOB - and they fill it!
Then back to our house for another mythic cooking session!
Food is serious business
Eric whipping eggs into a frenzy
Blackjack supervising
Caesar Salad!
Chocolate Souffle - yum!
Then last week Bill and Dana/Insana Dee dropped by our house as part of their West Coast road trip. How lucky are we?!
Dana and I at the Moraga Steps in SF
Of course Dana had to go to the Mission District and buy a Donald Trump piñata!
Dana's just mad about The Donald!
Of course Bill posed with him!
As did Don and Scott!
Then we hooked up with Jerry and Cheryl after the ExMormon gathering at the SF Ferry Building on Sunday. Sadly, our long time watering hole, Sinbad's, is closing down so the city can build another ferry landing.
Jerry and Cheryl with Sinbad
Owner Tom Stinson in a final duel
But we'll find a new watering hole. Because there are still plenty of fun times with good friends ahead. Life is good - when you don't have to fake it.
Looking back, it all seems crazy. There are the things that are now so obvious, I want to kick myself for not seeing it at the time. And then there are the things I still can't quite figure out. Like the guy in the documentary Wordplay who complains he has the solution in front of him but still can't figure out the puzzle. For example, a long time ago I served as secretary in a ward Young Women's presidency in a suburb of Dallas, Texas. One year the annual YW retreat was switched to a fancy hotel downtown. Usually this Friday/Saturday overnight event was held at the stake center, with food served from the church kitchen and lodging provided on the gymnasium floor. But, thanks to a well connected local church member, the girls were offered a stay at a five-star hotel with a fancy meal included! In the beginning it seemed like a fantastic opportunity for the young ladies to practice their white glove and party manners, as well as enjoy a little pampering. Only it wasn't....
Greetings Gentle Readers! Are any of you still out there? I'm back after a 2 year hiatus, much of it spent writing my new romance novel, Mormon Erotica . Okay, so "erotica" might be a stretch. But there is some hugging and kissing, a little PG sex, and plenty of romance -- just in time for Valentine's Day! Over the years I've had a love/hate relationship with LDS romance novels. Because I used to be a Mormon, I want to enjoy a good love story set in a culture that I easily connect to. Only the LDS, Inc. formula is so disappointing: Boy swears off dating because he's bored with the selection at church. Then he falls for a nonmember or inactive Mormon because she's so different. Only in order to marry her he has to either convert or reconvert her, thus changing her into the kind of girl that bored him in the first place. Was that good for you? I think my take on the genre offers more satisfaction, not to mention reality. And I love my central characters: Ji...
You don't have to be a trekkie to know that the original Star Trek series that debuted in 1966 and ran for only three seasons is now a cult classic. And I mean cult in a good way. Moreover, you needn't have watched every episode or seen all the movies or attended the conventions to know that Leonard Nimoy, who died today, was a cultural icon. Star Trek is one of those unique diversions that both entertains and binds us together. Sort of like sports. For example, say you're at a family reunion where half the relatives are believing Mormons. You can't talk about religion, of course. You can't talk about politics. You can't bring up the weather. (For fear of igniting a global warming vs. God's wrath debate.) You can't agree on appropriate attire or what is an acceptable beverage. In many cases, you can't even talk about yourself because you might be (gasp) gay, or otherwise living in - what the Mormon relatives consider - "sin." But bring ...
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