debor067

When I started this blog back in 2009 I never dreamt it would be around five years later. But here we are at the end of 2014 and Ward Gossip is still running strong. It's that little mechanical bunny and the Brethren are the battery that makes it keep on going. Sure I had to fill in here and there. With bizarre family dramas, fun Ex-Mormon gatherings and excursions , memories of shitty weekends and stupid Relief Society lessons , another joyous birth , and a very sad loss , missionary moments , some odd LDS corporate policie s, a return to my Vagina Testimony , a long overdue " person of the year " award, and a bit of recent diplomacy between LDS Inc. and Park City, UT . But most weeks the Brethren and their disciples wrote the copy for me. Starting in February with that uber-sensitive website,   Gays and BYU . Which led to some thoughtful discussion amongst the faithful about The Gay Agenda .  After that, believers were shocked to learn that church headquarters was ...

LDS Church to Renew Ties with Park City Salt Lake News -- published December 18, 2014 SALT LAKE CITY -- In a bold and historic move yesterday, LDS leaders announced they will be normalizing relations with their long estranged neighbor, Park City, Utah. "The Brethren decided the citizens of Park City should benefit from exposure to a culture that is superior to their own," LDS spokesperson, G. Marilyn String, told the News. In brokering the agreement, the LDS Church agreed to release alleged Park City spy, George Fielding. Apprehended last September in a men's room at the Joseph Smith Building, Fielding spent 92 days in solitary confinement on Temple Square. Insisting the charges against him are false, Mr. Fielding told the News, "I swear to God, I'm innocent. I got bored during  Meet the Mormons  so I went to the can to splash some water on my face. Then these thugs in cheap suits jumped me and hauled me off to the clink." "They put me on a restricted d...

Name Withheld is Person of the Year Salt Lake News -- published December 12, 2014 SALT LAKE CITY -- She's found hope and healing after her divorce, forgiven her abuser, and nurtured her husband's frail ego throughout their foreclosure and bankruptcy. He's overcome alcoholism, drug addiction, same-sex attraction, and a tendency to masturbate. Ever humble and long suffering, the progressively gender-ambivalent author of countless Mormon-themed articles, Name Withheld , is finally receiving the title of Person of the Year. "After spending 50-plus years at the top of the temple prayer rolls, Name Withheld is long overdue for this recognition," official church spokesperson, K. Byron Spool, told the News. When asked about the timing of the decision, Spool explained, "It's been an especially tough year for the Brethren, what with all the selfish complaints from the feminists, gays, and intellectuals. Meanwhile, Name Withheld humbly carried on, without dwelling o...

To: Abbottsville Fourth Ward Relief Society From: Ramona Barnes, Ward Visiting Teaching Coordinator Subject: What to do when your visiting teachee keeps dodging you I call, I text, I stop by. When she doesn't answer, I stand on her front porch and belt out, Love at Home . When she still doesn't answer, I hot glue 50 packs of M&M's to her front door. I follow her on social media. I follow her to work, to the dentist, and to the mall. I wait in front of her bathroom stall at Nordstrom. But still I get nothing. At first I thought it was me. But, in talking with friends, I've realized this kind of reception is common among sisters. So, what's a woman to do when she gets rejected time and time again? Here are a few tips I've learned through my colorful history with visiting teacher dodgers. Think Outside the Box Oftentimes our less active sisters dodge their visiting teachers because they don't like the idea  of visiting teaching. They're deluded into th...